the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My balls are so social today.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
