that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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