I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
