hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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