i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
