everyone is single if you try hard enough
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Randomize
