We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
