Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
