hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
