Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
