I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
