Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
