She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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