I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize