You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
