That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
