don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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