new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
