a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
