He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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