you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
