I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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