hell yes lets make some ravioli
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
