i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think i have two assholes
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
