he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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