***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
