Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
