I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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