Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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