If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
