Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Bring me that man meat
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
