just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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