Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
