I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
