Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize