I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
