PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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