Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
