Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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