Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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