So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
