They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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