I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
