so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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