So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
