I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
