I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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