So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
