she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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