Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
