I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
