I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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