Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
