Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You were trust falling into bushes
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
