I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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