you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
sorry
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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