no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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