I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the liver wants what the liver wants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize