So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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