Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
