Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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