You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize