My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
