Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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