check it out our google latitudes are spooning
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
