Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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