is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
